Thankfulness...

I have been in great danger of sitting down and indulging in a long pity party for a while this morning. There's really not even a "good" reason for me to throw a pity party for myself, except that I am missing Brett and just feel tired and emotional today.


I have been staving off the self-pity by periodic quick prayers, but am sitting down now to kill it (at least, that's my goal). I am listening to some praise hymns.


I am being reminded that even if many "big things" in my world were wrong right now (which is not even the case), God is still on His throne and He is still working out His will in my life.


Really? My life?


 I am not doing anything great. I know, I know that motherhood is a great calling...it just does not feel like it is most of the time, no matter how many times I hear that it is. It is just so mundane...


 I am so abundantly blessed and I still find something to complain about, something to annoy me, something to grumble in my heart about. When I stop and look at myself, I am horrified at my faithlessness, my ungratefulness, my selfishness.


Then I remember one of my professor's saying that if we are "shocked" by our sin, that just shows how prideful, what a high opinion we have of ourselves. =)


Then I remember that same professor saying, over and over again, that "for ever time you look at your sin, look at Christ ten times." It is hard to not get bogged down in discouragement over my sin and never get to the whole point of seeing my sin, which is to see Christ as more beautiful than I have before.


So what that my husband is away for the week? He has a job. He works hard for us. He is coming home (Lord willing). We can talk on the phone every day. I have so SO much to be thankful for, so I am going to list some of them right now.


Lord, please forgive me of my self-pity and fill me with gratefulness. Help me to get out of my tiny little cramped world that centers around my happiness and fill me with love for You, for others. Show me how big reality is....life from Your perspective!!


Just this morning, I am thankful for...


the clear, crisp, cold blue sky.


our faithful sweet dog who defend the house.


Nate being done with the chickenpox and feeling much better!


strong coffee =P


Christmas lights brightening the night.


Nate's sweet cooing noises coming from the living room.


dishes to wash after I have eaten yummy food.


Christmas music!!


Nate dancing to Christmas music (I have to post a video....he is hilarious!)


feeling Evelyn kick me (even when it's in the bladder=).


a big, warm, cozy house.


a grocery store right down the road, that I am going to go visit right now!