How Brett contracted meningitis

When Brett was in the hospital, he was told that he had chronic sinusitis and that it could have been a contributing factor in him developing meningitis. He has had clear discharge from his nose almost as long as he can remember, so hearing this was no surprise. We had always thought it was allergies and tried to pin down the source, but to no avail.

A couple weeks ago he went to an ENT and to make a long story short, he does not have chronic sinusitis or allergies, but rather a spinal fluid leak somewhere in his sinuses!! He will be having a minor surgery sometime soon...I hope very very soon...to patch the leak. 

Of course there is no way to know exactly how long all the bacteria in his nose has had a direct route into his spine, but it has probably been that way for quite a while. A leak is usually caused by some kind of head trauma and we have no idea what could have caused Brett's. It is actually quite amazing that he has not had meningitis before now. He is currently on some antibiotics which should reduce the possibility of the infection reoccurring until the leak is fixed.

While on the one hand it is disturbing to think that he has had this condition for a long time and we were not aware of it, on the other it is a bit comforting to know how he contracted the meningitis. 

We are thankful that the doctor discovered this and that we have the technology available to fix it. We do not know when the surgery will be, but I will try to keep updating. We are so thankful for everyone's prayers!

The Evelyn Bevelyn

Yes it is a silly name, but aren't most nicknames? I don't know why I started calling her that but I did. It suits her=)

She is our little nut, always getting into everything and following Nate around adoringly. She desperately wants to keep up with him and as a result is now proficient going up and down stairs and is walking quite well. When she needs to go really fast, she still resorts to crawling. She puts her head down and goes into "warp speed mode". It is quite a sight!

At the end of prayers she says, "umen!"

 Nate's cozy coupe car has recently received a lot of attention. 

Love the static in her hair!

Backing up...

Still a little unsteady...

But ready to tackle the great outdoors anyway

Playing the organ at Memaws

bagel truck

If you look closely, you will clearly see that this is a road of yogurt with a bagel truck, complete with a hitch on the back. 

She's a funny one

I was folding laundry in Evelyn's room and heard some slightly distressed sorts of noises coming from Nate's room, where Evelyn was playing. I promptly investigated and what I found was so hilarious that I subjected her to several pictures before helping to release her. This is what I found: 

"Maybe if I flap my arms really hard I could fly out of the box..."

 "Guess I'll just chill here until mom decides to stop laughing and gets me out."

How in the world did she manage to get into the box? Especially without it tipping over? I have no idea... 

She's never been able to climb onto the train table that her feet are resting on. She is our silly little nut and keeps us laughing! 

Yarn along

                                                                   

Joining yarn along today because I am so excited that the blanket on which I have been working is finally finished!! I made one similar about a year ago for Evelyn that we love very much. 

I enjoyed knitting it, even though I was ready to move onto a new project way before it was finished. Now I am just waiting to see the very cute intended recipient! 

Several of my friends have just had a baby or are due very soon so I have visions of multiple pairs of adorable baby booties. I have many visions that fail to become realities, but at least I have completed one bootie! Thankfully they are fun and knit up extremely quickly.

Since this blanket required many hours of labor, I felt that it deserved more than one picture. Although mine ended up being quite different, I was originally inspired by purlbee.

A day in the life of us

*This day was actually a couple days before Brett came down with meningitis. I just had not gotten around to posting it until now.*

Here is one day in our life. I will be writing periodically as the day progresses. Let's see how it goes!!

6:15 am- Brett wakes me up momentarily kissing me goodbye. He is driving up to Nashville, doing a job and driving back this evening. He has had a crazy week.

7:15 am- Evelyn wakes up crying. I get her up and nurse her. If she had woken up a little earlier, when it was not yet light, I could have nursed her back to sleep until 8 or so. We get up and go downstairs. I make coffee and change her diaper. 

7:45- Lexi is bouncing around asking to be let out, so I oblige. Usually I make her wait until Nate is awake because the back door is right under his room. Sure enough, she runs off into the neighbor's yard to bark at their dogs and when I call her back, Nate wakes up. He much prefers to wake up slowly so he is a little groggy. He is very much my child and we both take a long time to get going in the morning. 

8:00- The children are both grumpy so I commence breakfast. Scrambled eggs and blueberry muffins that I made yesterday. Nate is obviously not feeling quite himself after being sick Tuesday night with a stomach bug. He only eats a bite of eggs and half a muffin. Usually he can put away some food! Evelyn however devours a bunch of the eggs. I had the stomach bug too and so only eat a few bites. 

8:30- We talk to Brett, who is still driving, on speaker phone. Nate carries the phone around with him and talks for a couple minutes. 

8:45- Nate says (for the tenth time this morning), "Watch Bob?" i.e. Bob the Builder.

 I say (for the tenth time this morning) "No it is not time to watch anything right now."

 Nate says, "Ask Dad watch Bob."

 "Why do you want to ask Dad? Do you think he will say yes?"

 "Yes, Dad watch Bob" Nate says. And he is right=) Amazing how quickly they learn who to ask for what!

9:00- We go upstairs to begin packing for this weekend. Brett has a job in east TN near our friends Richie and Suzanne so we are all going along with him and staying until Sunday afternoon! Nate lines all his trucks up on a spare bed and shrieks whenever Evelyn throws them down. Then we have a talk about sharing with how he can give Evelyn one truck and then she will leave his others alone. I help (multiple times) with the sharing side of things and the leaving alone side of things. Evelyn hangs on me and fusses while I sort a basket of laundry, setting aside clothes to pack. I eventually decide that we need another change of scenery because everyone is grumpy and clingy.

9:30- We come downstairs and I turn on a Judy Rogers CD in the kitchen. This makes both children laugh and smile for a while. They each have a little cup of Cheerios and spread them all over the kitchen floor. Lexi will enjoy eating them later. I am happy that they are happy long enough for me to clean up most of the breakfast mess in the kitchen. 

10:00- Nate wants to paint, so we get out the dot paints and markers and I copy some truck pictures for him to color. We write his name and other peoples' names and talk about the letters. He only colors a little on himself. 

10:20- We all go back upstairs and finish getting dressed for the day and picking up the bedrooms. 

10:40 am- Nate comes and says, "cough, mommy" and coughs a little. I offer him a drink and then a minute later he throws up on both of us. We rush to the bathroom, but he insists that he's done. As soon as I let him step back from the toilet, he throws up again, all over Evelyn's back (she had crawled along behind us, of course), the bathroom rug, and my slippers. He is very concerned about the mess. I strip everyone down, wash everyone off with soap, and start another load of laundry. We all get redressed.

11:00- Evelyn is obviously very sleepy, even though this is early for her nap. I put Nate on a big towel and turn on an episode of "Bob" for him. My stomach still feels queasy so I am hopeful that he just threw up the blueberry muffin he had for breakfast because it was too hard on his stomach. Evelyn and I go upstairs to nurse.

11:12- Evelyn is asleep and I lay her down in her bed. Then I call Mom Hawkins to tell her that the children will not be coming over later today in case Nate is still contagious. Usually today I have two riding lessons to teach in the afternoon and the children go over to the Hawkins. I work more on cleaning up.

11:20- I throw some chicken bones and other stuff in the crock pot to make stock for chicken soup for dinner. That is really the only food that sounds appealing to me. And it must be homemade chicken soup, not canned. I should have some in the freezer for just such days!

11:40- I talk to others involved in the scheduling of riding lessons, trying to see if someone else at the barn can fill in for me today. I also disinfect the upstairs bathroom. 

11:50- Nate yells up the stairs for me and wakes Evelyn up. She is still sleepy because her nap was cut short, but refuses to lay back down. Oh well. 

12:00 pm- Feed Nate some applesauce to see if he throws that up. If he throws up again today, then we will definitely not be going away this weekend. I would hate to cancel, but I would hate to share this bug even more. We shall see how the rest of the day goes!

12:10- I wash and cut several packs of strawberries that were a very good price last week. We were obviously not going to eat them before they went bad, so into the freezer they went! 

12:20- Nate really wants to go outside, so I reluctantly bundle everyone. It is cold and windy, so we only last outside for about 15 minutes. I have to hold Evelyn the whole time because the ground is sopping wet and I do not want her to crawl around on it. 

1:00- I realize that it is 1 o'clock!!! We all sit down on a big pillow on the floor and read 3 books. I try to read before nap and bed, but it happens most consistently before nap time. Nate has always loved reading and will sit and listen for as long as I will read. Evelyn mostly wants to eat the books, tear the pages, or try to turn to a page that we are not currently reading. So she usually plays nearby and only sits with us part of the time. 

1:20- Put Nate down for nap.

1:30- Feed Evelyn some lunch...peas and cut up left over chicken. I love giving peas to the children for lunch because I don't even cook them, just thaw a cupful in hot water, drain, and give them the cup. I wash some dishes...how do they multiply at this astonishing speed with just the four of us? Clean out the sink and start the dishwasher. I am not at all sure that Evelyn has actually consumed any of her food, given the large quantities in her lap and scattered on the floor. 

2:00- I chop veggies for soup. Evelyn plays on floor. Beginning recently she plays very happily by herself. Read a couple blog posts.

2:30- Evelyn is tired of playing by herself so we move to living room to play together. I look at the monthly Publix magazine with her and drool over the chocolate recipes. I seriously consider making a pull-apart cinnamon pecan bread that is featured, but decide it is a bit too labor intensive for today. 

2:45- I pour the broth into the veggies for the soup. Yum! I am very excited about this pot of soup. I've been craving homemade chicken vegetable soup for three days. 

3:00- Evelyn wants to nurse. She actually falls asleep, which I was not expecting because she does not usually take two naps. 

3:30- I call mom and talk to her about whether or not it is wise to go this weekend in light of Nate throwing up. Brett says he should be finished in Nashville in about an hour, so he will be home around 9:30-10 pm. Poor guy has been travelling many hours this week! 

3:40- I look at knitting kits from knitpicks.com that have just been marked 50% off. This makes them surprisingly inexpensive. Of course I have the yarn for a couple more projects that are not even on my needles yet...

4:00- Sit down to knit on Evelyn's leg warmers that I started this week. They are fun to work on because they are going so quickly. I am nearly finished with the first one! 

4:15- Dad calls with a business question and I am reminded of all the office work on which I am terribly behind. Why in the world am I knitting?! I hop on the computer and start working. 

4:40- Evelyn wakes up crying and when I get her out of bed I check on Nate. He has obviously been awake for a while because he is standing up, waiting for me with his hands full of trucks. 

5:00- Since we did not eat much lunch, I decide to eat dinner early. The soup is ready and quite tasty! Evelyn eats heartily but Nate is more interested in the applesauce and the veggie tray. As long as he eats lots of vegetables, I won't fight over the soup. 

5:20- I discover that my amazon order arrived sometime this afternoon! It is some closet organization shelves and racks. Nate has been recently asking me for a "new present for Nate". I guess he enjoyed Christmas. =) When he saw the big box, he was sure it was a "big car" for him even though I kept telling him that it was for me. So he was a little disappointed with the contents of the box. Then we took everything out of it and with packing tape and scissors I made it into a house. They loved going in and out of the door!

6:00- I am excited about the large shoe rack so I decide to assemble it. There were only three steps in the directions so I figured that I could handle it. Brett is so good with such things that I usually don't even attempt to put together anything that is complicated enough to need instructions. =) It was very easy! We carried it upstairs and put most of our shoes on it before the children get bored of that and we move onto something else. 

6:45- Nate suddenly announces, "Nate need to poop on potty!" We have been talking a lot about potty training around here and have managed to pee several times but he had never pooped or told me that he needed to go. I take him immediately to the bathroom, and sure enough, success!! Nate seems very matter-of-fact about the whole thing, even though I try to make a big deal out of it and be very excited. I was a little worried that he was not quite ready but it seems that he is! Yay!! We will have to begin training in earnest very soon. 

6:50- We call Dad to tell him the exciting news!

7:00- I try to clean up the kitchen from dinner but about 3 minutes in, Nate begins jumping up and down and begging me to "dance". So I turn on the radio and we all dance in the kitchen. This is one of my favorite things about kids...they make me laugh and do silly things that I would never do with anyone else. 

7:20- We go upstairs for bath time. Nate loves the bath and will stay in it for a very long time. Evelyn is very excited initially about bath time, but quickly tires of it and wants out. We bring three trucks into the tub with us and Nate lets Evelyn play with one of them. She always wants the two that he has instead, but they work it out most of the time. 

7:40- We get out of the tub, get dressed in jammies and pick out 3 books for story time. 

7:55- Nate goes to bed. I nurse Evelyn and she falls asleep.

*I had stopped writing down the day at this point and I have no memory of the rest of the evening, other than that Brett arrived home at around 9 pm and was very tired.*

Many I should write down my day more often so I see my life more honestly. It was surprisingly encouraging to read over at the end of the day. Many days, I know I have hardly sat down all day but I can't remember much that I have actually done. So much of parenting little ones is not anything that is ever complete, so you can never check off a list and feel "accomplished".

But it is all essentially important work and we have a lot of fun too! =) 

numbering our days

Even before Brett came upstairs from his weekly group conference call yesterday morning, I have had this Scripture running over and over through my mind.

"So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

He soberly told me that a man in his group had died of a heart attack over the weekend. A man who had just turned 50. A man leaving a now grieving wife and young daughter. A man who had plans for his work this week and goals for next year. All the other guys said, "What? How can that have happened? I just talked to him on Friday and he was cutting up just like he always does." Brett told me how he had planned to call him later this morning for help with something, how difficult it will be for the other guys in the group to take over all that this man did.

It is funny to me how we invariably respond to sudden death, myself included. "What? How could that have happened? Now? But he had plans and hopes and dreams...he wasn't expecting this!" 

It's like we expect there to be a flashing neon sign over our heads, announcing, "10 days left...9....8..." We think that surely we would instinctively know that this was our last night night together, or our last Christmas together, or the last time we would ever say 'I love you". We believe that something would be different about our last day, that we would have some kind of premonition or supernatural warning.

I remember, oh so vividly, standing next to Brett as he lay there unconscious, and contemplating that he very well may have kissed me for the last time. Of course that was a tremendously sad thought, but at the same time I felt remarkably at peace. I knew that we had loved each other well, that I had not taken our time together for granted and I had no regrets. Of course I wanted more time together, to raise our children together, to grow old together but I did not need more time to make things right, to do things differently.

 Sometimes I feel like if I have something planned for the future, it is almost as good as doing it right now. "As soon as this baby is born, then I will be thankful for it."  "When the children are older and less exhausting, then I be able to have a joyful attitude and really love them." "When I am not so tired, then I will be able to be pleasant to my husband and work on our relationship again."

 But the truth is that there is no time available to us except right now. As my family knows so poignantly, after losing James just before birth when he was previously a completely healthy, full-term baby, you don't know that you will have tomorrow. This difficult time, this exhausting night, this draining school year...it may be your last one. Would you do anything differently if it was?

The fact is, we are all dying. It's not just that we should be prepared for a sudden death, but we should be preparing for death all of our lives. Actually, not preparing for death so much as preparing for life in eternity. 

This Scripture, though I've known it all my life, I am not sure that I really understood it until recently. "So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." It is the pivotal verse in Psalm 90. David starts out by talking about how God is forever and, contrary to how we feel most of the time, we are not. Not only do we not last very long, we are quickly forgotten, and our lives are full of sin. 

I tend to think that I will be around forever, or at least for a very long time, that I do some pretty important stuff that is critical to the functioning of (at least part) the universe, and that I am a relatively good person. Here is a little dose of reality: 

 Lord, you have been our dwelling place^a
in all generations.
2 Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

3 You return man to dust
and say, “Return, O children of man!”^b
4 For a thousand years in your sight
are but as yesterday when it is past,
or as a watch in the night.

5 You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning:
6 in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
in the evening it fades and withers.

7 For we are brought to an end by your anger;
by your wrath we are dismayed.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.

9 For all our days pass away under your wrath;
we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
10 The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span^c is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.
11 Who considers the power of your anger,
and your wrath according to the fear of you?

Kinda depressing, wouldn't you say? Thankfully, that's not the end of the Psalm. Keep reading. 

12 So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
13 Return, O LORD! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil.
16 Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
17 Let the favor^d of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!

 Numbering our days is not easy. It is a lot of work. It is never done.  But we must, for it is essential in gaining a heart of wisdom. If you have ever read Proverbs, you know how important God considers the getting of wisdom to be. 

Despite our fragility and our sinfulness, God will listen to our pleas to have pity on us! Numbering our days should not lead to a hopelessness about life, but should drive us to throw ourselves upon Christ for mercy. It should help us to recognize that apart from delighting in His "steadfast love", in His "glorious power", we are nothing. But when we delight in Him, "we may rejoice and be glad all our days" and He will "establish the works of our hands". How beautiful is His love!

Least those who know me well think that I am justifying my sinful tendency to agonize over the fragility of life, I am not. While it may be a strength of mine to be aware of death, it is also a weakness. When I lay my head on Brett's chest and hear his steady heartbeat, I always think about how those beats are numbered, that they will end some day. I don't just think that since Brett's illness, I have always thought that way. I know....morbid! 

But when his heart was beating sooooo slowly in ICU (40 beats per min and sometimes less) I was thankful that I had not taken his heartbeats for granted; that I had treasured them when I had them. 

Granted, "treasuring" them can rapidly deteriorate into freaking out internally about what he will feel like when he is cold and stiff and how I will act at his funeral and raise the kids without him. And of course there is nothing wholesome in those thoughts of unbelief, but that's a whole 'nother post. What I love about this psalm is how it takes me from where I am naturally (stuck in the beginning and middle of it), points me to God and leaves me with hope.

I pray for all the people who knew this man who worked with Brett. I pray that his sudden death will drive some to seek after a heart of wisdom, to plead with God to have pity, and to ask to be satisfied in His steadfast love. 

As for me, I have printed out Psalm 90 and put it over my kitchen sink and in our shower. It has been too long since I memorized a Psalm. My memory of just how comforting it is to have psalms stored in mind is still quite fresh. 

Number your days, please don't take them for granted. 

Jack is here!!

My sister Samantha has made me an aunt again! Jackson Slater was born this morning at 2:40 am after a 36 hour labor. He weighs 7 lbs 4 oz and is 20 in long. Check out the hair!!! Isn't he perfectly precious?!?!

I think he looks like Nick! =) Congratulations Sam and Nick!! 

And Ella too. I cannot wait to hear about her reaction to baby Jack. Wish I was there to see it!