reality boating

When I saw this picture on the front of Family Fun magazine my mind was flooded with various reactions and then, memories. 

First, incredulity. Rustic tent made out of a pretty quilt that color coordinates with your paper plates and life vest? Won't those sticks fall over if you bump them? How long are those slices of watermelon going to actually stay on those plates? And how in the world is it a good idea to bring along a glass lantern while in a boat? Isn't there always some fairly murky water collecting in the bottom of such boats? Where is the reality in this? I suppose the authors are trying to give us vision, something for which to aim? 

Second, maybe this evokes such strong emotions in me because I am a tad jealous that our boating expeditions were not nearly that polished, and that my children's (if they ever have any) will certainly not be either. Maybe it makes me feel like a failure as a parent because we don't do things nearly that "fun", well-planned, or beautiful. And that's not just because my children are still young. I can guarantee you our family expeditions will be much louder and messier and spontaneous than this. 

Maybe to someone who doesn't have memories of boating with many siblings in a old boat with an adventurous father, this does not seem like one of the most ridiculous pictures you have ever beheld in your life.

Maybe mom would have joined more of our boating expeditions if they had looked a little more like that. Or if she did not remember quite so vividly the time we were all out in a boat and somehow got stuck while the sun was going down and no one knew where we were. This was before the days of cellphones. Thankfully, as my parents were trying to figure out how to spend the night out in the marsh with about 7 people in a tiny crabbing boat, an old man came along and towed us in. He said he never checked his crab traps that late. We knew it was simply God's kindness towards us. Mom decided after that that someone should stay behind who knew where everyone else was. 

Several years later Dad bought an old boat and kept it on the Elk River, a tributary of the Chesapeake Bay. Many fond memories were made on that boat. It was especially fun to be out on the 4th of July and be able to watch many different firework shows, exploding over the water. We would water ski and go tubing. The two (or three) person tube was the best. Squealing as you go over a huge wake, catching air, and then spinning off into the surprisingly warm, soft water (I say soft because I was always surprised when it didn't hurt...which was usually) was much more fun when you had a companion....or a competitor. Staying on when the other person was thrown off was a rare and sweet thrill. At least it was for me, I've never asked my siblings if they felt the same way. We are all pretty ridiculously competitive so it's a pretty safe bet that they did. Dad always wanted to fish too, but that was memorably unsuccessful. We teased him that there must be fish-repellent painted on the bottom of his boat. He would find out the best places to go, the best bait to buy, and receive guarantees from other boaters that we can't avoid catching fish thus equipped. But we hardly ever caught anything. Looking back, I am sure us kids scared all the fish away. 

There were some not-so-fond memories also, though later in time frequently the "bad" times are even more fun to recount then the "good" ones. Our boat, as I mentioned, was old. Dad is quite the handy man, and always brought his toolbox along because it was usually needed, but sometimes the boat was too cantankerous even for Dad. One day we were a little ways out towards the ocean when the engine appeared to give up the ghost. Dad worked and worked, to no avail. Meanwhile, the waves were fairly choppy and the boat was just going up-down-up-down....slap-slap-slap in the water. Almost all of us are prone to motion sickness, so you can imagine the havoc this wreaked upon us. When I saw above picture, that was actually the first memory that came to mind. Various people throwing up over the side of the boat, while wondering if we were spending the night out there as the sun went down. We did have a cellphone, but no coverage. Though if it had truly become an emergency, there was a boat radio. Eventually Dad got it going and we made it back to the marina. We laugh about it now.

Whenever the topic of boats surfaces, Dad says, "The two best days in boat ownership are the day you buy the boat and the day you sell the boat." A few years ago Dad decided to experience both of these best kinds of days, so he no longer has a boat. 

You don't have to have everything perfect to create amazing family memories. Most of my favorite ones were far from "perfect". My parents were good at laughing during stressful times. I mean really, when you are stranded in a boat with everyone throwing up over the side, what can you do except laugh hysterically?! And even if you can't laugh then, you will laugh about it for years afterwards, so it's still totally worth it. 

So no, I am not the least bit jealous of that little girl. Of course, if you are able to pull off such organized fun, go for it. However, don't think that "family fun" needs to look like that or if you are at all like me, you won't have any fun.